Pesky Patience Strikes Again

     My roommate and sweet, sweet friend recently got engaged and it truly is an amazing thing. It's such an exciting time for all of us and especially her. I love seeing her face late up when she realizes she is finally getting married. It's such a relief too because her and her feónce have been dating for six years! And they were close friends with mutual feelings for two years before that. They've had difficult times, moments of doubt as to whether their relationship was what God wanted for them ultimately it has proved true and is more inspiring than any other relationship I've witnessed in my short years. In the midst of all these years they never made their friends uncomfortable, always thinking of others before themselves. I loved how we could go out with them and not feel like a third wheel and just have a good time! Both would engage in conversation with everyone and they were never "doe eyed" with each other making our time together uncomfortable.

     Several times I'd spoken with my roommate about relationships often when one of us (mostly me) was at a low point emotionally. She would wonder if her boyfriend would ever propose and I wondered if I would ever get a boyfriend.

     As for me? I've been single all my life, which isn't long since I'm only 24 but I often get discouraged when people look at me odd, "Never? Not at all?", "Don't you want to know what a relationship is like before you find the right guy?"

     Truth is I chose to be single, waiting for God to bring who He desires in my life trusting my relationship with God with be adequate enough. I've chosen not to have a string of relationships in my past as baggage to bring into my future marriage. Hopefully my future husband will appreciate that but most importantly, I hope it honors and glorifies the Lord.

     As my roommate and I were talking the other night about all the exciting things she gets to plan now that she is engaged she mentioned something that days later I realized may actually be a highlight in my own life. Her words were,

     "I can see my patience is finally paying off."

     She began listing all the. Leasing the Lord has allowed since the engagement and it's only been a week! Those words really resonated with me though.

Often I get so discouraged about being single, more than I care to admit. "He will only be an ordinary guy," I'll think, "no one could ever love me like (insert friends who are dating here).", "he will probably regret ever choosing me," "what's the point of waiting when it's only going to be sub-par?"

     "My patience is finally paying off."

     It hit me this morning. God is having me wait for a reason! Not because he's chosen Mr. Mediocre so we can live life decently. He has placed me in a time of waiting because He is preparing the best for me, so we can live life as amazing examples for His glory! My patience will pay off.

     You see, God loves is and He wants the best for us, specific to our needs. If you are single and it brings you Darrow think about it, don't lose hope! God has someone He is preparing for you. Someone He is turning into a man or woman of God to come alongside of you and further Bis kingdom. Your patience will pay off and that abundantly.

James 1:4 "But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing."

Fall

Here's to new seasons!
In some places in this country the leaves have begun changing, the weather cooling to a nice 60 degrees at it's hottest, and the world is feeling fresh again. Even here in the High Desert we've been blessed to see actual clouds the last week. I almost forgot what they looked like. It's been sunshine and scorching temperatures for over three months...
In other news, new season of your favorite television shows are beginning to air, last years loading up on Netflix or Amazon and school is back in session! Yay books! The school supplies are heavily advertised still at this point, even those most schools started over a month ago- but the buses are something I dread. Needing to leave a whole ten minutes earlier for work... for once I look forward to the time change. The cooler weather isn't so bad either. Cooled to a whopping 78 yesterday. Sarcasm at it's strongest.
But it all seriousness the change of the weather and our new seasons of school and work and time-changes is such a wonderful reminder. Maybe for you summer was plain awful. I know mine wasn't the greatest. Perhaps you lost a loved one, broke out of a long term relationship you thought was 'the one', lost your job, had to move away, the list goes on of the many things you may have experienced this summer. The heat, the sun rising before you wake up, the sun setting later- perhaps these won't be the greatest reminders of what went on in your summer. It is such a blessing that season change and with it, new life. The sun will rise later, and set earlier, the weather is cooler, different things our society will be going on that have FALL written all over them. These things help us get our mind off of the past and onto the future! It's so exciting to see what God is going to do this next season. Perhaps it won't be anything I imagine, which is quite a lot when it comes to my imagination. And that is okay. Our expectations shouldn't be on what we will accoplish for ourselves, but what the Lord will allow us to accomplish for Him.
"Oh the joy of the Lord, He will be my strength, when the preasure is on, He's making Diamonds. He is refining in His timing, He's making diamonds out of us!" -Hawk Nelson
When that pressure comes upon us in this new season, know that the Lord is shaping you into something beautiful!! Accept the instruction and walk in obedience. The Lord has a plan for us all in this new season. 

God in Promises

God truly is in everything.

He patiently waited.

He received the promise.

He was satisfied.

Abraham was able to share great blessing because of this.

In Hebrews 6, the author writes that God mad a promise to Abraham. The Lord swore by Himself, that Abraham would be blessed and multiplied. Vs. 15- “And so after he had patiently endured, he obtained the promise.” Later on in verse 18 it says that it is impossible for God to lie. He has set hope before us that we can lay hold of.

God gives us promises in our lives often in a sort of specific yet fairly vague kind of way. It usually springs from a godly desire that is scripturally sound, such as the desire to get married (not for your benefit, but for the benefit of your spouse and children) or even accomplishing great works in ministry, (often unknown until doors are opened and the Lord tells us someway that this direction is His will.) This is only two of many promises the Lord can give us. He gives is a great many in scripture regarding our future- that hope of heaven when we accept Him as OUR Lord and Savior and let him guide and direct our lives.

Sometimes though He gives us even more specific promises than that through the gifts of His Spirit. In Romans 12 and 1 Corinthians 12 Paul explains to us these gifts: word of knowledge, faith, healings, wisdom, prophecy, discernment, and more. I know one of my gifts is faith, and it isn’t always easy, but through these different gifts we can know even more specifically what God has in store for us and those around us.

It’s so funny because over the last year or tow the Lord has given me promises, some more vague than others, but some incredibly specific. I used to wonder if it was truly of God, wondering why he would choose to tell me of all people and something so specific and definite. I sought hard after the Lord (still do) trying to determine if it could really be true. The struggle of doubt is real. But the things that supported that these were of the Lord? I would have people, who had no idea I was struggling with the belief of these promises, come up and share scripture supporting it. I’d always double check the reference flipping through the pages of my bible, astounded by the words from their mouth, or the message rom their text. My morning devotions would scream at me not to doubt and when I thought about these promises, about the life I would have when they would be (will be) fulfilled, I could see it was good, God glorifying, literally all about magnifying Christ as Lord and Savior- not myself or the enemy or anything the like. And in the midst of probably the MOST impossible circumstance, where anyone, including myself, could have looked at the situation and deemed it impossible, concluded it to be not of the Lord, I decided to believe. I chose to believe the Lord can tell His children thing very specific in their lives. He revels in the impossible. He delights in what is most difficult to believe. I find that so beautiful. In the midst of chaos, when choosing to believe the impossible I experience Philippians 4:7, “and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

It’s now a matter of patience in that area of my life, no longer anxiety and overwhelming doubt. Patience and growth, learning everything I can from God about what it takes to be a woman of God, to walk in obedience and prepare for this future that the Lord may be glorified through it all.

I still waver and doubts tend to trickle through my mind as the enemy is always attacking and doing what he can to draw me away from the Lord, but I stay anchored and always come back to His word and what the Lord tells me through it.

Someone wise once told me this, “Everyone wavers. But we must be like a buoy. Tossed to and fro but never floats away from its anchor.”

It’s through the constant spiritual battle that we are in that we learn the faithfulness and truthfulness and sovereignty of God and all the He IS able to accomplish.

Thank You Lord for your promises in my life and to those around me. Thank You for the amazing growth I get to do while waiting on You. I pray Your Name be glorified in my life as You are my first love, & that all may know how great You are & how mighty You work. Help me to share great blessing to those around me. Bless those in my life who struggle with doubt, show them You are a mighty God who can conquer all and will. Fill them with Your Spirit that they may go out and glorify Your Name above all names and lift You up. In Your Name I pray. Amen.