I must be growing because so much has been changing and it doesn't always feel good. What can one say when they love so much that it hurts? I love people. I love fellowship. Most importantly, I love serving Jesus. It's been hard with the changes going on around me to find where I fit. Just when I feel I've been put in a place that I belong, a place where I learn about new people and make new friends, a ministry that I can truly use my talents to bless the Lord, things change and I get moved elsewhere. All I can gather is the Lord has a better plan for me. I didn't think it could get better, sometimes I fail to see that life isn't in my control. I don't hold the universe in my hands and wield great cosmic power. But I have faith and trust in the God who does. God is preparing me for something. I'm trying to rid of the fear that may be holding me back. The fear that takes me to dark places. Scripture is so comforting right now in the midst of these battles. I pray that sweet comfort ever leads.
I used to have this great idea planned out for my life. I always knew that it more of a dream rather than reality, but truth is, I never thought of reality coming my way either. I always avoided the thoughts of what I might actually have to do with my life. Until recently. Suddenly I'm excited for reality. The reality that I am a human vessel for the Lord's work. While the 'how' is still a mystery, along with the 'when', I know that it's the direction my life is headed.
'Patience is a virtue' they say. Well, patience is something I have a feeling I will struggle with for the rest of my days. There is that and so many other things I am working on in my life. Letting God mold me too. It hurts a bit, but I did ask Him to do it. I can only blame myself. Plus, with and artist like Christ, there has to be something beautiful in the end. I'm hoping for a crystal clear picture of Christ. They may be high standards, but God shouldn't settle for anything less.
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